11 Feb Shifting from a Driven to a Called Leadership Model by Tamara Graff
My dad founded Lakewood Church in 1959. But after a few years of pastoring the church, he went out and began to travel full time. He traveled across the US and other nations, holding meetings. He was busy. He was going here and there, and he had just gotten baptized in the Holy Spirit. He was excited.
At one point, he got worn down. Of course, we’d have emails today that we’d have to return, but he talked about having to postal mail this and trying to keep up with things remotely. He was starting to feel burdened by ministry. Then one night, God gave him a dream. He was driving the car and Jesus was sitting next to him, shotgun. He knew it was Jesus when He lifted His arm and pointed to the left. Daddy saw His robe next to Him. So Jesus pointed to the left and directed him to drive toward a mountain. He said as he drove, a path began to clear of trees and a road began to form. He drove up to the very top of this mountain and he saw three crosses on top and he knew the one in the middle was Jesus’ cross. He jumped out of the car and ran to pick up the center cross. He said he braced himself because he thought it would be so heavy, but when he lifted it, it felt like Styrofoam. In fact, it was like it lifted him off the ground!
God spoke to him in that dream and said, “It’s not My cross that’s crushing the life out of you. It’s your programs.” Daddy got the message. He got rid of some of the things that he was doing, things he put on himself. He went back to what Jesus had made clear for him to do. What a great way for the Holy Spirit to help him see that!
I think we’ve all felt like my dad in ministry at one point or another. We have added things to it. We’ve let things come into our lives and had to make adjustments because Jesus says His yoke is easy and His burden is light. That’s where we want to keep it.
Pastor, you have your own story. My husband hit a wall about fourteen months into pastoring a church, and he wasn’t sure he was going to get through it. He learned that it takes training, focus and practice to get through the wall. And if you hit the wall a few times, it just takes more effort in those three areas to keep breaking through it.
Today, my prayer for you is that instead of hitting a wall, God helps you break the barrier. So many times over our 35 years in ministry we’ve had to readjust and lose some of the weight we’ve added (or someone else has added) to our lives just so we can carry the weight Jesus has for us instead. So let’s talk about how to focus or refocus in four critical areas of ministry to shift from a driven leadership model to a called leadership model.
- Am I pursuing God’s purpose or my purpose or others’ purpose for me? God helped my dad with this. He was doing good things, but it really wasn’t God’s thing with God’s balance at one point. And that can bring a lot of stress. At one point in ministry, he actually had a nervous breakdown, so he had to get this right!
My dad, like you, Pastor, had wonderful grace on his life. God made him good at caring and teaching and leading and helping to transform people’s lives through the grace that God gave him. But like Moses, when he started serving people’s desires, he wore down and then he wore out. You can’t go full steam ahead in ministry outside God’s plan for you and expect to be as effective and fruitful as God wants you to be.
Jim always says that the reason we wear down is because just like tires on a car, if the alignment is out of balance, the tires will wear down quickly. That’s why it’s good to ask, “How much of my grace is producing church growth versus God’s grace?” If we don’t live in the balance of the Holy Spirit for each season of our lives, it won’t be long before we find ourselves off-kilter physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and then we’ll lose the strength to function like we need to as ministers. For balance to come, we need to focus and say okay to what God’s desire is for us instead of whatever is driving us to wear ourselves out.
- Am I fulfilling my call from God or the people’s call from God? This can sound the same, but it’s different. Even staff can end up tired, and tired can easily turn to burnout. Jim has been helping our staff in three areas for years: daily prayer, personal leadership, and planning. All of these can be developed from asking the question, “What call am I fulfilling?” Think about your call, pray about it, get the training you need for it, and make a plan to fulfill it. For a lot of pastors, the key to not crashing and burning is to get out of a culture where you’re trying to please everybody and at everyone’s beck and call and to pursue the call God has on your life.
- Am I exemplifying family nurture with my family, or am I over-engaging in the nurture of other families? 1 Timothy 5:8 reminds us that anyone who does not provide for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. That’s a strong scripture. Some pastors need to reevaluate: “Am I showing others what family should look like? Am I shouldering areas of responsibility that other people should be shouldering in their own families?”
Pastor, you’re called to nurture your wife and children. You must be mindful that the focus you place on other people can leave a real lack in your home. Some people may leave your church because they don’t you’re your undivided attention. Let them leave. Better they leave your church than your wife leave you or your children leave the faith! Protect your home and your family by nurturing them first. God has entrusted them to you!
- Is my own pain lingering while I minister to the pain in other people’s lives? We’re to care about the pain of all God’s people as leaders, but we can’t care for it all. It’s impossible! That’s why we think it’s important to have a ministry statement. We want people to come to worship services where the presence of God is right. We tell them that Jesus said the Holy Spirit wants to be in them, and this happens through their regular, personal quiet time with God. And then we want them to have godly friends who support them. Prayers get answered when people have godly, supportive friends. Finally, we want them to make the difference they’re called to make. This is our ministry statement, and it’s been very helpful to guide our people to not depend on us specifically for their needs but to depend on the Holy Spirit and develop a relationship with God and others independent of our investment in their lives.
You know, 68% of pastors feel isolated, and that statistic is 50% higher than it was a decade ago. I remember a counselor telling us that once the kids grew up and left the house, there’d be space for new things to come up that couldn’t before. Similarly, if you’re keeping your pain down, feeling isolated, living on the edge of burnout, at some point there’s going to be enough space for it all to come up. So just make time and space to let God deal with your heart now. There’s no judgment! We all have been there, and we’ve all had to learn how to re-balance with God’s will and purpose for our lives. You can live by the power of the Holy Spirit, and if you need some prayer or encouragement to move in that direction, I hope you’ll send us an email today and let us know how we can be there for you.
This blog was created using content from the webinar Shifting from a Driven to a Called Leadership Model.