18 Jul Perspectives That Ruin Relationships
As a pastor, it is one of my favorite things to pray with people regarding their deepest needs. Over years of praying, I’ve found that most of these needs are centered on one thing—relationships. Why? Because relationships are what our lives are centered on. We were created with a desire to be in good, healthy partnerships with those around us.
God made this truth clear when he created the very first man, Adam. He said in Genesis 2:18 that it was not good for man to be alone, and so he created Eve. In other words, God knew that having no relationships would be far worse than any struggle to nurture good relationships. Still, let’s be real, relationships can be a struggle. And they have been since day one. Matthew 24:12 tells us that it’s “Because of the increase of wickedness” that the love of most will grow cold.
So, wickedness in our lives causes our love to grow weak and damages our relationships with people. This became evident in the very first couple ever created—Adam and Eve. Let’s take a look. After Adam and Eve sinned and ate the forbidden fruit, God sought them out. He called out to Adam, “Where are you?” And Adam replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
Do you notice how our weaknesses tempt us to live distant from one another? We don’t want people to see where we’re weak, so we run and hide. We build no relationships at all. Also, our weaknesses make us defensive. We see that truth reflected in the part of our story when Adam and Eve play the blame game for their sin. In verses 12-13, Adam blames Eve, and Eve blames the serpent. We often do the same in our own relationships—put the responsibility for the struggle on someone or something else. Finally our weaknesses make us demanding. The curse put on Adam and Eve that day was one that made their lives much harder, and much more demanding of each other. I think we’ve all been there.
So how do we avoid these immature perspectives? How do we repair and build relationships that work? We start by surrendering our hearts to God. Job 11:17 tells us that when we do, our hopes will grow “brighter than the noonday sun.” Secondly, we must remember that His love is unconditional. There is absolutely nothing we can do to separate ourselves from it, so we don’t have to live in shame or guilt from our past, nor in fear for our future. Finally, we are to love each other unconditionally, just as He loves us. If you want to know what that love looks like, read 1 Corinthians 13.
We were created for rich, rewarding relationships. So don’t let a bad season get you down. Follow God’s path for partnerships. It’s worth it!